Six Questions to Ask When You Officiate a Wedding

Questions to ask when you officiate a wedding

Have you been asked to officiate a wedding? The scripts I’ve written for people to lead the ceremonies of close friends or family have been surprisingly moving for me. Learning about a couple through the eyes of someone who knows them well and loves them is quite beautiful. I think it’s because there are so few opportunities in life when we really get to hear how people see us – as individuals, and as a couple. And having someone close to you be the one to hold your day, to marry you, adds such a personal layer to the ceremony. I love it.

So, if this is you, firstly – what an honour! Secondly – where do you start?

Last month, I worked with someone who had been asked to officiate her friends’ wedding on the banks of a beautiful river. Their dogs feature in the ceremony, so obviously I love them.

She came to our first meeting so well prepared, having asked the bride a whole series of questions to get a sense of what they had in mind for their ceremony, and it made the process so smooth. So, this post is inspired by her!

Here are six questions to ask your couple if you’ll be leading their wedding ceremony:

  1. What are you most looking forward to about your wedding day?
  2. What’s your vision for your ceremony?
  3. How long should the whole ceremony be?
  4. Do you want anyone else to be involved – for example, to say a reading or to perform a piece of music?
  5. Are there any particular rituals you’d like to include? Or if you don’t have a particular ritual in mind, would you like me to suggest one that feels right, knowing you both?
  6. How would you like me to pronounce you at the end?

If you would like a copy of the full questionnaire I’ve developed for officiants, pop me an email (hello@somethingtrue.co.za) and I’ll send it to you for free.

Once you have all the answers, if the process of writing a script still feels a bit daunting, please get in touch – I’d love to help you craft something beautiful that your friends or family will remember for the rest of their lives.

Photo by Kelvin Murray